planting our own garden.

My friend Mark has a has an overgrown garden. This weekend I'm going to clean it up. What should I grow? Beans, blueberries, corn, carrots, tomatoes, lettuce, spinach. Anything else? We'll mull over it.

I would like to make a book.

I'm watching a video about the history of Eames Furniture Company, and pictures form in my head of a book about my grandfather's business or our family's recent history, focusing on the 20th Century. Choosing text, layout, and photos I think would be the most interesting part of the project. Making a clean, concise, coffee table book filled with stories and photographs of these people I have grown up with and loved; I would like to accomplish this.

Your Ideas Are Not Stupid.

Your ideas are not stupid.

For the director of music. With stringed instruments. A maskil of David.

Reading Psalm 55, I noticed part way through that David turns his attention to his companion. The directness of his comments are cutting.

"If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God."

Then, as if overcome by anger toward this traitor, he says, "Let death take my enemies by surprise; let them go down alive to the grave, for evil finds lodging among them.

"But I call to God, and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice. He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me. God, who is enthroned forever, will hear them and afflict them-
men who never change their ways have no fear of God."

I think the line that really caught my attention was that last one, "men who never change their ways have no fear of God." That statement is true. It gives me fear.

He turns his attention back to his companion after that, saying, "My companion attacks his friends; he violates his covenant. His speech is smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart; his words are more soothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords." Does that not sound like most people? I'm afraid that it sometimes sounds like me.

"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. But you, O God, will bring down the wicked in to the pit of corruption; bloodthirsty and deceitful men will not live out half their days. But as for me, I trust in you."

Every Day (Inspired by Fiona Moes)

I am going to write something everyday. A poem, a story, a description of the day's events.

Today I will write an introduction.

Why am I not productive? (Thoughts & Conversations on May 5th, 2011)

"I've been very unproductive about things, lately. To avoid not doing something that I should be doing, I sleep. What am I going to do between 11:00 and 12:00 at night? Nothing, and that worries me. So I go to sleep."


"Doing what I want to do scares the hell out of me. I do everything to avoid doing what I want to do."

Desire is a strange thing. I desire a lot of things that I work very little at actually obtaining. I think you're right, Jason; I think it's fear. What stops me from writing music? Fear. Fear that I will suck, or at least not like what I have made. I do not want to make music if I'm not going to like my own music. Why should I worry about that? Just do it, as they say. And stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. Stop waiting for text messages. Sing. Write. Talk to people. Do you want to go to India and spread the Gospel? Then do it. Do you want to go to school? Then make it happen. Do you want to plant a vegetable garden? Talk to your sister, who has a backyard. Figure it out.

I looked at pictures of my ex-girlfriend and her husband getting married today. You know that joy you get, when you start giggling uncontrolably and crying at the same time? He has that look on his face. The last time I felt that, I was driving into Alberta, just out of the Rockies, listening to "Take Me Home, Country Roads." Conrad took a picture of me on his phone. Those moments are special. You remember them.

"When we were in Taiwan, Sara and I, on the east coast. Metropolitan, lush, green, beautiful waterfalls, and we find this river. We are literally on Google Maps, we have no idea what's there. We meet this family of indigineous Taiwanese people. Different skin, different language, and we're swimming in the river with these people. And they're really nice. They invited us to this tent with a white roof, it's so hot so everyone's sitting there in the shade drinking. And people drank a lot, some people were really drunk. All of a sudden a film crew shows up. And they are bush league, really not professional, but they're trying to be. They're speaking English, like pretty good English. Sara couldn't even speak Mandarin to the indigineous people we were with. No communication. The film people start throwing garbage around so they can film people picking it up out of the river. It was really cheesy stuff. So bizarre." (This came up because they were filming a TV called "Kiss at Pine Lake" across the street.)

The Hotspot needs change.