"I've been very unproductive about things, lately. To avoid not doing something that I should be doing, I sleep. What am I going to do between 11:00 and 12:00 at night? Nothing, and that worries me. So I go to sleep."
"Doing what I want to do scares the hell out of me. I do everything to avoid doing what I want to do."
Desire is a strange thing. I desire a lot of things that I work very little at actually obtaining. I think you're right, Jason; I think it's fear. What stops me from writing music? Fear. Fear that I will suck, or at least not like what I have made. I do not want to make music if I'm not going to like my own music. Why should I worry about that? Just do it, as they say. And stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. Stop waiting for text messages. Sing. Write. Talk to people. Do you want to go to India and spread the Gospel? Then do it. Do you want to go to school? Then make it happen. Do you want to plant a vegetable garden? Talk to your sister, who has a backyard. Figure it out.
I looked at pictures of my ex-girlfriend and her husband getting married today. You know that joy you get, when you start giggling uncontrolably and crying at the same time? He has that look on his face. The last time I felt that, I was driving into Alberta, just out of the Rockies, listening to "Take Me Home, Country Roads." Conrad took a picture of me on his phone. Those moments are special. You remember them.
"When we were in Taiwan, Sara and I, on the east coast. Metropolitan, lush, green, beautiful waterfalls, and we find this river. We are literally on Google Maps, we have no idea what's there. We meet this family of indigineous Taiwanese people. Different skin, different language, and we're swimming in the river with these people. And they're really nice. They invited us to this tent with a white roof, it's so hot so everyone's sitting there in the shade drinking. And people drank a lot, some people were really drunk. All of a sudden a film crew shows up. And they are bush league, really not professional, but they're trying to be. They're speaking English, like pretty good English. Sara couldn't even speak Mandarin to the indigineous people we were with. No communication. The film people start throwing garbage around so they can film people picking it up out of the river. It was really cheesy stuff. So bizarre." (This came up because they were filming a TV called "Kiss at Pine Lake" across the street.)
The Hotspot needs change.
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